1. The First Nobel The first Nobel, Al Gore did get, Though he should have got one for the internet. He made us think of the polar ice caps, How he wasted his time as Vice President. Chorus: Nobel, Nobel, Nobel, Nobel, Al says our planet is going to hell. The point he tries to make, has now become moot. As his mansion is An Inconvenient Truth Now the earth grows warmer still and the public's upset As the CO2 spews from his corporate jet. Nobel, Nobel, Nobel, Nobel Al says the planet is going to hell 2. Hil’ry There’s Obama & Edwards & Rudy Guiliani, Biden & Thompson or maybe Bob Aune. But do you recall the most famous candidate of all. Hill’ry, she was First Lady, wants to be our president, Moved up to New York City, to become a resident, Stumping across the country, to the great delight of all, Hill’ry, the golden girl, looking presidential. Then one foggy winter’s eve, Bubba came to say, “If you want to be the Pres, interns help relieve the stress. Then all the folks will love you, cuz you’ll turn out just like me, Hill’ry, the ex-First Lady, you’ll be part of history”. 3. Jingle Bells Dashing up the stairs, To the place I work, But when I arrive, Feeling like a jerk, I moved yesterday, But I can’t recall, Where the heck my office went or if there’s one at all. Chorus: Moving here, moving there, which floor am I on, Where are all my boxes, I think my laptop’s gone, Moving here, moving there, which floor am I on, My chair is on the loading dock; my desk is on the lawn. My phone’s plugged in the jack In this my empty cube. Were these kids on crack, When they made my move? Humongous monitors If I had to lift I'd surely get a hernia or maybe slip a disc! Chorus: Moving here, moving there, which floor am I on, Where are all my boxes, I think my laptop’s gone, Moving here, moving there, which floor am I on, My chair is on the loading dock; my desk is on the lawn. 4. The Christmas Song Grillers standing near an open fire, Picnic smells fill up your nose, Crock pots plugged-in with no care for wires And kids with grass between their toes. Everybody knows a bratwurst and some sauerkraut, Helps a picnic plate look right. Tater Tots in a cold casserole, I’ll find that hard to eat tonight. They know that Sounder’s on their way; They’re playing lots of songs, just oldies, on this day. And every mother's child is going to cry, When they hear Santek, sing “Spirit in the Sky”. And so I'm offering this simple phrase, To all while sipping on your beer. Although it’s been said many times, many ways, Try the picnic, next year. 5. Hark the CIMSS employees sing Hark the CIMSS employees sing please reduce the junk mailing! Paper spam, a daily thread, Save a tree! Email instead. Seminar announcement printed, followed by a phone list tinted- ‘sconsin Week is right on time- Can't we view this stuff online? Hark the CIMSS employees shout- Please allow us to opt out! Hark, there's email spamming too Which snowblower's tried and true? Tom's threw his snow 20 feet had mere mortal blowers beat. Non-work list, I'd just say "stick it" but I might miss Badger tickets 20 mails about HD Free signal, lest you have some trees. More antenna triv'a told- my this topic's growing old. 6. Silver and Gold BUFR and GRIB BUFR and GRIB Everyone wants files in BUFR and GRIB To decode is like giving birth Their formats are closest to hell on the earth. BUFR and GRIB BUFR and GRIB Something I don't want to see BUFR/GRIB implementations On every FTP. 7. Sleigh Ride Just hear those bells and whistles Come ting, ting, tingle your screen. C'mon it's lovely weather to look at together with V It's not P or Q or W, Y or Z C'mon it's lovely weather to look at together with V Giddyup giddyup giddyup let's go New features to show Which Tom I should contact I don't know Giddyup giddyup giddyup let's train The same people again Will this improve upon folks just Looking out the window for rain? Our hues are nice and rosy We know our RGB C'mon it's lovely weather to look at together with V Does V mean 5 or stand for IDV? C'mon it's lovely weather to look at together with V Giddyup Giddyup Giddyup there's snow 3-D is our goal An interface we want to show Giddyup Giddyup Giddyup - oh my The dashboard’s a sty Thank God for so many brains To help us make a try It's just a software package We don't need a wreckage to see C'mon it's lovely weather to look at together with V It won't be ready ‘til Two thousand Eighteen - oh gee C'mon it's lovely weather to look at together with V 8. What Charge is This? What charge is this which, laid to rest On Judy’s desk, while sleeping? I tried to cheat with chocolates sweet. Why isn’t she out vacationing? This, this is a conference charge, You used the incorrect credit card; Who, who has charged some flesh, In Amsterdam, while traveling. An email states the numbers changed, We’re notified of this weekly. Employees fear, the end is near Of charging our purchases freely. Where, where’s the receipt I’ve lost, She’s after me, she’s after you. Waste, waste, my time you’ve done, You’ll suffer the wrath of Judy. 9. Stand-up Steve is coming to town You better line up You'd better stand by You'd better hold on I'm telling you why Stand-up Steve is coming to town Maria’s gotta a list she's checking it twice She's gonna find out who gets Ack's advice. Stand-up Steve is coming to town His students are unhappy They've become quite irate Without the words of Stand-up Steve They will not graduate You better line up You'd better stand by You'd better hold on I'm telling you why Stand-up Steve is coming to town 10. GOES Rules the world! GOES rules the world. Sees clouds from space, And, sends them back to earth. Let everyone, prepare their products From sounder and imager From sounder and imager From sounder, sounder and imager. Woe, to the world! GOES-12 is dead. Let earth receive GOES-10. No more for South America Use GOES-13, a coup d'etat Retransmit through GOES-12 Retransmit through GOES-12 Retransmit but don't forget, repoint your dish! 11. Old Coal Plant (sung to Auld Lang Syne) Across from Weeks, on Charter Street Is a heating/cooling place. It uses old technology And is generating waste. The coal soot gets into our lungs And flows into our lakes. The CO2 contributes to Earth’s global warming case. Perhaps they could use solar, wind, Or other pleasant words, But then we’d work in constant shade While picking up dead birds. The ugly coal piles fill our view And take up parking space. The CO2 contributes to Earth’s global warming case. But if the plant burned fryer oil To turn its ancient cogs We’d all smell like McDonald’s food And attract raccoons and dogs. The sulfur compounds fill the air And acidify our lakes. The CO2 contributes to Earth’s global warming case. If sitting here won’t kill us from Acute deep vein thrombosis We’ll die from miner’s lung disease Known as “pneumoconiosis.” The coal dust blows into our rooms And runs into our lakes. The CO2 contributes to Earth’s global warming case. Set List 1. First Noel [2 verses] 2. Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer 3. Jingle Bells [2 verses] 4. The Christmas Song 5. Hark the Herald angels sing [2 verses] 6. Silver and Gold 7. Sleigh ride 8. What Child is This? [2 verses] 9. Santa Claus is coming to Town 10. Joy to the World 11. Auld Lang Syne