Hank the Director [Frosty the Snowman] Hank the Director, Is a jolly, happy soul. With his graying hair, and a fake moustache, That is nearly black as coal. Hank the Director, Lived a fairy tale each day. He was interim for the last 5 years, Didn’t know how long he’d stay. There must have been some magic In the meeting held last year. When Martin asked Cadwallader, “Just how long will Hank be here?” Biking into work, On thee oldest bike around. With his laptop strapped right across his back, He’s the hippest guy in town. Clunkety, clunk, clunk, Clunkety, clunk, clunk, Look at Henry go, Clunkety, clunk, clunk, Clunkety, clunk, Our Director needs a tow! No Rest for You Retirees [God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen] No rest for you retirees although you said you'd go The practice of relaxing now your actions do not show Whoever would have guessed that now your working would not slow? Oh keep on with the duties you enjoy, that you enjoy Oh continue with the duties you enjoy! No rest for you O Harold Wolff, you'd planned to hit the road But little did you estimate the lure of Fortran code. You won’t have time to clean the pond or fix your croaking toad. Oh keep on with the coding you enjoy, that you enjoy Oh continue with the coding you enjoy! No rest for you Tony Wendricks, you'd like to rest it's true But drilling through the snow and ice requires brains like you So keep on chugging and we'll put some coffee on for you Oh keep on with the drilling you enjoy, that you enjoy Oh continue with the drilling you enjoy! No rest for you Ralph Dedecker you won't get ? clean slate 'Cause GIFTS it is alive you see, the rest will have to wait An instrument like this requires we put more on your plate. Oh keep on with the working you enjoy, that you enjoy Oh continue with the working you enjoy! No rest for you Fred Nagle, you’re the one who never quits. Ephemeris data has been lost, and Expack gives us fits. The total sum of human kind takes thirty-seven bits Oh keep on standing where you wish to stand, wish to stand Oh keep on standing where you wish to stand! O Come All Ye Techies [O Come, All Ye Faithful] O Come all PCers, elated and victorious, Come XP, Oh come ye to SSEC Come and behold it, born the child of Win 2K O come let us review you O come let us reboot you O come let us revile you, Bill Gate child O Come all RedHatters, happy and exultant, Come Linux, Oh come ye to SSEC Come and behold it, born the child of open source O come let us review you O come let us reboot you O come let us revile you, Redhat Linux O Come all ye techies, mostly incoherent, O Come ye, Oh come all to PC-dot-admin Come and behold them, automated tickets O Come let us be grateful, I’m turning into hateful, My PC is unfaithful, Help Me Please! O Allen Huang [O Christmas Tree] O Hung-Lung Huang, O Hung-Lung Huang, That’s why we call you Allen. O Allen Huang, O Allen Huang We don’t know any Mandarin. A Chinese cadre you have grown To fill the seats on 2nd floor O Allen Huang, O Allen Huang Importing education. O Allen Huang, O Allen Huang You bought a new computer O Allen Huang, O Allen Huang It’s cryptic to most users. Producing interferograms, And hyperspectral niceties O Allen Huang, O Allen Huang, More money makes you feisty. O Allen Huang, O Allen Huang Your energy is frightening. O Allen Huang, O Allen Huang Through hallways quick as lightning. Much things to do before you’re done Assigning tasks to everyone O Allen Huang, O Allen Huang You’re full of motivation. Deck the Halls with Sounds of Wylie Deck the halls with sounds of Wylie, Bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla. What's the reason he's so jolly? Bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla. Don you know wears gay apparel, Bla bla bla, bla bla bla, bla bla bla. Extolling ancient viewpoints narrow, Bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla. Hear the blazing spew before us, Bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla. Bikes to work, he's going to bore us. Bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla. Follow thee there's clouds to measure, Bla bla bla, bla bla bla, bla bla bla. Making snow in cool crisp weather Bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla. Blast away at what the CRAS has, Bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla. Fix the code, get off your keisters, Bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla. Subject segues every minute, Bla bla bla, bla bla bla, bla bla bla. Here he comes, just grin and bear it, Bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla Hungry At Ten [Silent Night] Hungry at 10, So once again, To Milan's, Off to Spend Madtown special with no mayo, please Soup and pizza with hot melted cheese Still, I miss seeing Flo, Still, I miss seeing Flo. Paper on doors, Permanently closed, Patronage is no more. Round the corner to try the back door, Salad bar is rolled out of the store. When will I get to eat lunch? Where will I ever get lunch? Look to the east, look to the west, This ol’ place, was the best. Off to Rocky’s or Hong Kong Café, Taco John’s, is it Taco Tuesday? Wait! I’ll stop at the Subway, I’m going to wither away! Little Webmaster [Little Drummer Boy] Click! They told me Pa rum pum pum pum A web design to see Pa rum pum pum pum Cascading style sheets Pa rum pum pum pum To show when council meets Pa rum pum pum pum;rum pum pum pum;rum pum pum pum World wide webbing, Pa rum pum pum pum On my Dell. Dreamweaver gifts I bring Pa rum pum pum pum My Paint Shop Pro is king Pa rum pum pum pum For many tasks using, Pa rum pum pum pum Tel-e-con-fer-ence-ing Pa rum pum pum pum;rum pum pum pum;rum pum pum pum Java applets blink, Pa rum pum pum pum Isn’t this fun? Terri nodded, Pa rum pum pum pum What’s on her mind this time? Pa rum pum pum pum Employee News is done, Pa rum pum pum pum This work is no more fun, Pa rum pum pum pum;rum pum pum pum; rum pum pum pum Then Hank smiled at me Pa rum pum pum pum Me and my web. Here Comes Santa Claus Here comes Schlesinger Here comes Schlesinger Right down the hallway Quoting weather facts and Sundry politics along the way Ears are ringing, Bob is thinking, “Cool and crisp tonight.” Put your hair up in a bun ‘Cause Schlesinger is in sight. Here comes Schlesinger Here comes Schlesinger Right down the hallway. He's got a bag and fishing hat 60's glasses all the way. Hear his voice and make the choice If you want to stay around. Wear your plaid shirts (weather grids) Cause Schlesinger is in town Parking Lot Schlock [Jingle Bell Rock] Parking lot, parking lot, parking lot schlock Where did they go, we really don’t know Spaces forsaken in Lot 51 O the parking crunch has begun Parking lot, parking lot, parking lot schlock 2-hour time, chalk marks before nine Tickets and towing in twenty blocks square It just isn’t fair. What a crime time, it’s the right time To move my car away Parking schlock time is a hell time To find parking for my Chevrolet. Giddyup parking man, out of your jeep And jingle around my car Affix my ticket to the one last week That’s the parking lot That’s the parking lot That’s the parking lot schlock. We Wish You a Merry Christmas We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas, And a Happy New Year. Good tidings we bring to you and your kin; Good tidings for Christmas and a Happy New Year. We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Solstice, We wish you a Snowy Season, And a Happy New Year. Her